Hi guys! It’s been a week since I posted something. Like many of y’all, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting, processing, recognizing…

It has always been so hard for me to wrap my head around racism especially in America. The United States is one of the most diverse countries, yet, there are many individuals that are ridiculously judgmental toward other cultures especially toward Black people. I’m aware of the history, and this is coming from a deep deep place, but it’s 2020. Black lives have always mattered. They do matter. And they will always matter.

Coming from one the most homogeneous countries, Japan, I’ve always been interested in learning about other cultures, people, perspectives, etc. Everyone has different viewpoints and different experiences. I thought it’s beautiful. As a kid, I never saw this dark side of America and that is my privilege. I still think it’s wonderful that we have our differences. But, I’m aware now that Black people have experienced and are still experiencing something they should have never and should never have to go through.

My heart was heavy and I was sitting with this uncomfortable feeling the whole week. I thought to myself, it’s good that I’m feeling uncomfortable because that’s when the change happens and that’s where people expand.

By no means I’m trying to take actions for my self-improvement. I want to stand with Black voices and I want to help amplify those voices. I want to listen and I want to learn. I want to speak up so that I can stand with them in this fight.

In psychology, there’s a phenomenon called “cultural competence.” Any good mental health worker would know how important it is to be culturally competent. To be culturally competent, it doesn’t mean that we need to reach a certain end goal. It’s not a measurement of how culturally competent you are. It means that we need to forever strive to learn, unlearn, reflect, be aware our own biases, process, feel uncomfortable, and take actions. It’s a never ending learning process, and my responsibility here is to engage in this process everyday. My intention this week was to listen to the powerful voices of the Black community.

I also thought a lot about intentions. On Tuesday, almost everyone on Instagram posted a black square. I was having a hard time understanding what that meant. What are people’s intentions? After a whole day of reflecting, I posted one, too. I didn’t want to join this #blackouttuesday just because, so I made sure I contributed and took some actions. Social media can be a great platform for raising awareness and engaging in a movement. However, I also did not want this to be a trend. It’s not a movement to make yourself feel better. I hoped for it to be a starting point for people, including myself, to step up. It’s not just one of those things where you go “oh, everyone is doing it, so I have to do it.” “I feel bad, so I’ll do it too.” “If I don’t do it, everyone would judge me.”

So, ask yourself,

What is the guilt and shame telling me?

How and when have I engaged in racist acts?

What belief about myself is being challenged?

How has my privilege served me?

Moving forward, how can I ensure learning, unlearning, and growth take place each and every day?

Thanks to Dr.Kelly Vincent, I have been sitting with these questions everyday. Black lives matter movement is not a movement that’s going to be forgotten tomorrow. It’s not a trend. Each one of us has a duty to self explore and think about what we can do moving forward.

There are so many ways to do so. Protest, donate, educate, sign petitions, etc. There are so many roles we can play. Whatever you DO, don’t forget to set intentions. Don’t forget to self-reflect first. Non-black people, don’t take actions for yourself. Take actions because black lives matter. The work needs to come within you from your inner self. Always think about the reasons why.

I decided to publish this post because these are the things I asked myself and thought of this past week. I thought it would be helpful to share with all of you, so you can have yourself an opportunity to sit with some questions and your thoughts. Obviously, I’m nowhere near perfect. I learned how much I don’t know this past few weeks. I want to keep educating myself and challenging myself. I hope you will, too.

And one more thing………..please please please don’t forget to let yourself rest and heal! It’s important to hold yourself space too.